Please complete the following questions. Take your time, be honest, and give each question adequate consideration. Use a separate sheet for your answers. Both you and your partner should complete these questions. When both of you are finished, compare your answers and discuss areas where there are significant differences. Remember - relationships are either getting better or getting worse. They just don’t sit there. If your relationship is in trouble this exercise may either help it get back on track or send it to the tank.
1. What are the personal weaknesses you bring to relationships? Strengths? What does your partner bring?
2. Do you tend to be overly critical of your partner?
3. Do you accept your partner’s traits, qualities, attitudes, and opinions?
4. Do you love yourself unconditionally? Accept yourself for who you are and who you are becoming? Does your partner love and accept herself?*
5. How would you define love? Friendship? Infatuation? How would your partner define it?
6. Do you freely share your feelings, fears, frustrations, dreams, hopes, plans
with your partner?
7. Do you tend to see yourself as a victim? Your partner? Does your partner view herself/himself as a victim or do you view him/her as a victim?
8. Is it easy or difficult for you to forgive your partner?
9. Do you like to spend more time alone than with your partner? If so, why?
10. Do you communicate with integrity? Does your partner?
11. Is the fun or passion missing in your relationship? Why?
12. Do you and your partner spend enough quality time together?
13. Do you have a safe relationship that allows you to be honest with your fears and feelings without criticism or judgment?
14. Are you considerate and thoughtful of your partner? Are they considerate and thoughtful towards you?
15. Do you know the emotional, physical, and spiritual needs and desires of your partner? Does your partner know yours?
16. Do you consider yourself flexible and willing to compromise? How about your partner?
17. Do both of you show admiration for each other?
18. How would you describe the level of trust in your relationship: high, low, non-existent, getting better, getting worse?
19. Do you and your partner play together?
20. How do you and your partner handle disagreement and conflict?
21. Are money, careers, children, and/or in-laws issues in your relationship? Why? How?
22. What would you like your partner to change if she would or could? What would she like you to change?
23. Do you have common goals that you are both working toward?
24. Do you and your partner work on your relationship as hard as you do your career or raising children?
25. Is the romance still alive in your relationship?
26. Have you ‘settled’ in any way in your relationship?
27. Are there hidden agendas with you or your partner?
28. Are you still “in love” with your partner? Do you think they are still in love with you?
29. Do you like your partner? Do you think they like you?
30. If you could improve your partner in any ways what would they be?
Good luck folks!
Tim Connor, CSP is an internationally renowned sales, management and leadership speaker, trainer and best selling author. Since 1981 he has given over 3500 presentations in 21 countries on a variety of sales, management, leadership and relationship topics. He is the best selling author of over 60 books including; Soft Sell, That’s Life, Peace Of Mind, 91 Challenges Managers Face Today and Your First Year In Sales. He can be reached at tim@timconnor.com, 704-895-1230 or visit his website at http://www.timconnor.com.
